Justin arrived
just a few minutes later, his dark eyes sharp as obsidian with that lethal
gleam. Mindy joined them, since Stacy wanted to go with Michael. Justin
examined Carly’s throat right after Mindy did. Carly insisted she was fine,
just a little sore, but she knew he wouldn’t believe it until he checked it
himself. After he was finished, he didn’t look reassured. He looked pissed off.
“Justin,
please don’t hurt Michael. He’s just a little boy.”
“A
little boy who tried to kill my wife. Carly, if that gun had been loaded—”
“He
didn’t know what he was doing.”
“Bullshit.”
“What I
mean is that fear overtook his reason. We don’t know what kind of trauma he’s
been through. Where is he, anyway?”
Mindy
was the one who answered. “Mark’s keeping him under house arrest at his place.
He’s not saying much, but he is still verbal. He refuses to talk about what
happened with you or why he reacted like that.”
“Don’t
push him. He could retreat back into silence.” Carly laid a hand on Justin’s
arm.
Justin
rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re pretty generous in your concern for
someone who tried to kill you.”
Carly
plucked at the blanket. “It’s not his fault. I know that. What are we going to
do with him? How do we punish a child for doing something he couldn’t help? He’s
just a kid—”
“Carly,
he’s not . . . normal.”
Carly
rubbed her temples. “None of us are. Every one of us who lived through this is
fucked up. We’ve all gone through trauma, and it’s going to come out one way or
the other. We’ve been numb. We’ve been stoic. We’ve done what we have to do to
survive, and we’ve buried it down, deep inside. None of us have dealt with it.
We can’t. There’s only so much a human can take at one time. No matter how deep
we bury it, it still clings to our minds, still takes up part of our mind’s
power, so none of us can say we make fully rational decisions. We’re all
walking wounded, all of us carrying these scars, and none of us able to heal.
Not now. Not yet. Maybe never.”
With
every word, her voice grew raspier, but Carly couldn’t stop. She had to finish
it, to get out the words that were burning in her mind. “We live in this little
bubble we’ve created. That I’ve created. I was attracted to this place that
seemed untouched by the hellfire that burned through our world. But we brought
the hellfire with us. I was determined to rebuild it, but what I was doing was
pretending, Justin. Building a place where we could all pretend that ‘normal’
still existed. Like kids in a tree house. You knew that.”
Justin
took her hand. “I wanted it to work for you, Carly.”
She took
a deep breath and a sip of water from the glass on the nightstand to soothe her
aching throat. “For me?”
He gave
a small smile. “I never much cared for ‘normal.’ ”
Carly
traced the pattern on the bedcover with her finger. “I wanted Dagny to know
about the Crisis as something that happened to us, something that was part of
our history, but not something that was part of her experience. I didn’t want
to pass the trauma on to her generation. And I thought her children would learn
about it in school in the distant, academic sense of history. Because their
world would be safe and normal again. Maybe not outside the Walls, but in here,
it would be America again. In here would be schools and shops and church on
Sundays. In here, we would be safe to pretend.”
Mindy
poured Carly another glass of water. “It wasn’t all pretend, Carly. We’ve built
a solid community. But it’s not America in here. It’s Colby. America doesn’t
exist anymore, but Colby does.”
Carly
gave Mindy a small smile. “Thank you. But right now, it feels like a blanket
fort.”
Justin
shook his head. “No, Mindy’s right, honey. It’s something more than that. We’ve
got good people here committed to good ideals. That makes for a strong
community. It could be the start of something much bigger, if people want it.”
Mindy
shook her head. “That’s the key, isn’t it? If people want it. How many people
did we decide wouldn’t fit here? How many people does Marcus have? I don’t
think they want America, or Colby, for that matter. They don’t want to build
anything. They want to take. It feels
like we’ve descended into madness.”
Justin
gave her a small smile. “There were always people who just wanted to take, even
before the Crisis stripped away our veneer of civilization.”
Carly’s
throat was aching again but not because of injury. She blinked her stinging
eyes hard. “It wasn’t a veneer. It was something I believed in.”
“You
still can.” Justin tucked a strand of her caramel-colored hair behind her ear.
“It’s not impossible to be a moral person. Your definitions might just need
updating.”
“Compromising?”
“No, updating. Shifting to acknowledge the
change in your circumstances. And that’s sometimes going to create tough
questions. What we need to ask ourselves is whether Michael is a threat to our
community.”
“I’m not
sure,” Carly said. “I suppose we’ll just have to watch him and see if it was a
momentary . . . breakdown, or if he’s unable to control his
behavior.”
“And if
he is unable to control himself?” Justin met her eyes, and Carly had to look
away.
“We’ll
make that decision then, okay? It’s too much for me right now. Because I know
anything that happens to Michael is going to have to involve Stacy. If
we . . . threw him out, Stacy would insist on going with him.
She wouldn’t leave a child alone in the wilderness. And we can’t lose our
doctor.”
Justin
nodded. “We have to think along practical lines first and foremost. First is
the safety of our community, but there is a price we have to pay for it.”
There
was always a price. Carly just didn’t know if it was a price that was going to
be too much for them to pay.
Available from
Summary:
After surviving the Infection and a perilous journey through the wasteland that was once the United States, Carly and Justin have found a safe home in the isolated town of Colby.
Even so, balancing the duties of survival and a growing family isn’t easy. As they emerge as leaders, they face difficult questions about justice in a lawless land, basic human rights, and freedom in a world where strength defines worth. More than ever, they have to rely on one another for strength and support during the darkest of times.
The Crisis is far from over. Their fences won’t keep the world out forever, and a new threat is emerging—a gang of predators who see the town as easy pickings. When danger looms over Colby, Carly must decide how far she’ll go to protect those she loves.
It’s a journey down the long and broken road through The Land of the Shadow.
Author Bio:
Lissa Bryan is an astronaut, renowned Kabuki actress, Olympic pole vault gold medalist, Iron Chef champion, and scientist who recently discovered the cure for athlete's foot...though only in her head. Real life isn't so interesting, which is why she spends most of her time writing.
She is the author of three other novels, Ghostwriter, The End of All Things, and Under These Restless Skies.
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